How are those resolutions going?
At the start of the year I take a few minutes to write down what I’d like to do more of and less of in the coming year. My 2023 list included less plastic and less take away coffees. I managed a little better on the former, pretty terribly on the later.
For me, 2024 = less screen time. I use my phone a lot. It’s emails, messages and whatsapp. It’s communication for work, friends and nursery. It’s a camera, a note taker, an editing device. It’s by my side, in my pocket, on the desk in front of me. My constant companion.
I won’t be able to stop using it but I am trying to reduce the time I spend on it.
In order to create a habit I’ve learnt I need to be really clear with myself, so I’ve chosen a time of day to reduce screen time. I’m trying to use it less in the evenings, to stop the double scroll whilst slumped on the sofa watching TV.
Here we are, two months into the year, and so far, so good (ish).
My secret weapon for success? Cross stitch.
I’m replacing a 21st century invention with a middle age past time. (Well maybe way older, sources say the earliest decorative stitches on linen date back to 200 AD?!)
So I bottom left to top right, top left to bottom right, over and over again.
How is it working? And why do I feel better for it?
It calms my thoughts and focuses my mind
Doing something, whilst concentrating on something else is good for me - it’s probably why I feel calm in the scroll - but instead of feeling like I’m losing time to a screen, sewing helps calm my thoughts whilst developing a skill and a precious object.
Science says working with our hands makes us happy
Studies highlight that working with our hands causes our brain to release pleasure chemicals (endorphins and serotonin) and decreases our stress hormone (cortisol). The repetition of cross stitch means these pleasure chemicals are repeatedly topped up and stress hormone repeatedly toned down. It makes for a much calmer evening.
It’s nostalgic
I’ve been cross stitching since I was very small. I think my Mum knew early on that I had an active mind, which could be channelled by making things. When my grandma died, I inherited a cross stitch I gifted her when I was about eight. I had been sewing it whilst we were on holiday together in Spain. I can still remember the shady spot where I would sit in the afternoon heat, bottom left to top right, top left to bottom righting over and over again.
Studies say nostalgia can be good for your mental health because the past is known, and if the experience was a pleasant one, the memory of it can feel cosy, safe and warm. This rings so very true for me and cross stitch.
It reminds me it’s OK to get something wrong
I make stitching mistakes regularly. I get ahead of myself, count less carefully, follow the pattern less closely, forget to detangle my thread resulting in hefty knots. Sometimes I muck up majorly and position a motif in completely the wrong place. Aged just 36 I still rely on my Mum to pick up the pieces, well, unpick the errors for me.
Studies have shown that children are much happier to make mistakes and ‘fail’ on computer games than in real life. This is my middle aged equivalent, I hope that by practicing regular failures in cross stitch, I’m helping myself become more resilient in life.
It’s about the journey
I stitch for calm, for peace, for fun. Sometimes I stitch obsessionally, sometimes “my work” stays in the bag untouched for months. At the moment, I’m stitching a red sampler, with no intended recipient. Which means there is no deadline and therefore no pressure. I’m able to enjoy the journey, and not think about the finish line, much. (Although it is mighty satisfying handing a completed project over for cleaning, stretching and framing).
It’s a messy metaphor
For me, cross stitch can be a beautiful metaphor for people. They might look relatively ordered, organised and together on the front, but boy if you’re anything like me, it is critically messy behind the scenes. Turn them over and there are knots and niggles, twists and turns, snags and scuppers.
We can all look pretty together on the surface, but that doesn’t mean there is a lot going on underneath that we’ve been through and are working through. But hey, without the messy back, there is nothing on the front.
-
What are you hoping to do more or less of in 2024? Have you any good tips for reducing screen time for me?