How you speak to yourself and others affects how you feel.
There is a simple shift I’ve learnt that has made a big difference to my conversations, and in turn my mindset. It might just help you too.
When I speak (or write), I make sure I say “thanks” more than I say “sorry.”
Sorry I’m crying → Thank you for being here
Sorry if I’m boring you → Thank you for listening
Sorry I can’t leave the house → Thank you for helping with the shopping
Sorry for any inconvenience → Thank you for understanding
Sorry for the delay → Thank you for waiting
Sorry for the mistake → Thank you for bringing that to my attention
I learnt this trick when I was unwell and needed more help from those around me. I now use it daily, with family and friends, colleagues and clients.
Why does it help? Because shifting the focus from a problem to your appreciation reframes the conversation - from ‘I’m a hopeless, useless failure’ to ‘I’m able to acknowledge what I need and I’m thankful that you’re able to support me.’
It also stops the listener from getting frustrated and shouting “stop saying sorry!”
To keep well, I know it is important to have agency over the things I say to myself and to others. Words really matter.