You need to read these books on parenthood
Divide and Conquer, Anna Whitehouse & Matt Farquharson
These books aren’t just for parents.
They are for anyone who knows a parent, has a parent as one of their friends or one of their teammates at work. People who happen to be parents seem to be everywhere.
Anna Whitehouse and Matt Farquharson have been married for twelve years and have two daughters. After deciding to divorce in Spring 2023, they have written a two-part-read-in-an-hour-or-so-book about managing jobs and children today. (My husband who only listens to audiobooks managed to read both in one sitting. Now if that isn’t a recommendation I really don’t know what is.)
Anna and Matt focus on the eye-watering cost of UK childcare and how this has affected their lives, saying “it is a system that divides families and ruptures relationships.” This is why they have been campaigning for flexible working for all, for years.
They highlight that privilege and sacrifice are the two key components of managing family life today. Privilege comes from being close to free family support, most commonly helpful grandparents. Sacrifice, because one part of your pair will do more of the childcare, and one will have more of a career. And that adjustment is hard.
I am a parent of a one year old. I have access to free family support and I have less of a career than I had last year. Of course there is joy in having a much wanted child, but what also arrives on the day they are born are stresses and strains, responsibilities and resentments that so often go unsaid. Luckily for us, Matt and Anna acknowledge these in a way that is matter of fact and comforting. And certainly made me feel less alone.
These books are both heartbreaking and heartwarming, written by glass-half-full-optimists with real workable advice on how to make parenting work for you. Whether that be together, or apart.
If you want a copy you’ll need to be quick as they’ve only printed a limited run and once they’re gone, they’re gone. Quick quick quick.